“Dink” is a marketing term, used to denote a couple with “double income, no kids.” “DINKs” is a humor column dedicated to the lives and relationships of a Seymour couple. Any similarity to real humans is surely a tragic mistake.
If there’s one thing about the English language, it’s that there’s much more than one thing about the English language.
The English we use every day has more rules, exceptions, special circumstances and idiosyncrasies than the average person can remember. It’s a good thing too, or the world wouldn’t need editors and I’d be writing this from the bottom of a dumpster somewhere.
Things really get hairy when you are trying to communicate with someone from another part of the country. For some reason, northern schools don’t teach kids what a “rountuit” is. I suppose they’ll get a rountuit eventually.
Then there’s the communications gap between generations. Every tried to explain to your dad why your favorite band is so good? Chances are you could use every word you know and still not convey the concept.
There are also the kinds of words that are used depending on your profession, about which others haven’t the first clue. A “catalytic converter” sounds like something that changes a feline to a canine. A “software firewall” could be interpreted by the average person as a method of melting a wrench. A “bench warrant” could be used to certify patio furniture. And everyone knows that a “subdural hematoma” is a particularly naughty Latin dance.
But all these chasms of communication are nothing compared to the gulf that lies between the sexes. When a man and a woman who are married talk (and yes, it does occasionally happen), it’s a miracle they can understand one another at all.
The simplest phrases can mean radically different things between them. For instance, when I say to my wife “I’m going to the store, I’ll be right back,” she hears “Give me a list of two thousand things you want from every retail outlet in existence and I’ll return in a few weeks with no money and three drunken friends.”
On the other hand, when she says “I’m going to the store, I’ll be right back,” I hear “Be prepared to sell everything you own and rent your body to medical science as together we help the bank president get that new yacht.”
Or when I say “I think my car is making a strange noise,” she hears “I’ll soon be spending a few grand at the high-performance auto parts store.” If she should say the same thing, then I will instead hear her state “I left my transmission lying on the driveway.”
In general, no matter what either partner says, the opposite partner is sure to interpret it through their own preconceptions. A psychologist might call this “projection.” A married person would call it “experience.”
Happily, there are some exceptions to this rule. For some unknown reason, a married couple can occasionally slip into the “Zone of Understanding,” where they only need to use a few words, gestures or sounds as a kind of shorthand for more complex communication.
This is why you will sometimes hear conversations between couples that have been together for an extensive time that go something like this:
“Hey, remember that?”
“Yeah. That place we went that time.”
“Uh huh. Those pants. Hah!”
“And the fish!” This exchange is then followed by gales of laughter from the couple, and the rest of the world silently mouths, “I don’t want to know…”
As the couple grows older, they will often dispense with words altogether, and instead use gestures and grunts.
This explains why a lucid, erudite individuals emerge from college, and in the course of a lengthy relationship, turn into Neanderthals.